seasonal passings

[egypturnash]

The sun stops dying today.



I don't know where I'll be next winter solstice, or even when the summer solstice rolls around.

Last Friday, lediva told us she and yunatwilight were going to move out. Kin freaked out at her and we got no more information because she vanished sometime that night. Sometime Saturday afternoon we found out she'd gone to visit beetiger. Sometime Sunday we found out she'd be back on Tuesday. yunatwilight was just a closed door oozing angst and fear during this weekend. No idea of a planned timeline or any reasons why wore on us. I haven't really wanted to communicate with either because I have a lot of fear/hate/etc from having to consider being unexpectedly uprooted again for the third time in six months.

The silver lining part is that this has Rik and Kin seriously wondering if they want to stay in Boston once the lease is up this summer. San Francisco is no more expensive than Boston, overall. We're debating moving there. It has a lot more sun and a lot more weirdness. I am all for anything that involves less snow in my life, having experienced it this winter.

I don't have anything planned for Christmas. I've never liked 'family togetherness' holidays ever since my father died - they were all just these horrible forced interactions with fake cheer. I'm visiting New Orleans in a few weeks (Jan 4-12) to pick up the last few pieces of my past. There aren't many of them any more. I think I'm glad my procrastination made a Christmas visit impossible; I'd have to visit my grandmother and pretend to be happy to see her and happy it's Christmas, when I suspect being back in New Orleans will have me on the edge of despair.

It'll be the first time I've seen the city since fleeing it that one clear windy morning. Oh, I've seen a few photos of the results of Katrina, but I haven't really gone looking. And I don't know what happened to the particular places I know. I'm told the house I grew up in was completely inundated - it was actually a foot or two above sea level, but it was only one story, and the whole neighborhood was flooded. What are my particular landmarks? What happened to them - from the storm, and from the huge amount of people leaving the city and not coming back? I don't know. It's still a remote disaster to me; the last time I saw New Orleans with my own eyes, everything was fine.

I don't have physical evidence of a past any more. Who do I want to be by this time next year?

Comments

[dagoski.livejournal.com]

The illustration would make a nice card. I know getting that in the mail mid winter would cheer me up. Heck, it helped me forget I have headcold just now. San Fran'd get me vote for places to live All the cool people seem to be there.

On a side note, would you mind if I printed up a couple of your illustrations for apartment decorations? BTW, I stumbled onto your blog via paka and perlandria, so I'm not just any weirdo. Well, okay, I am a weirdo, but a very particular weirdo.

[normanrafferty.livejournal.com]

I totally ditto that that illo would make a nice card.

[shatterstripes.livejournal.com]

Yeah, that was originally done last year to celebrate the solstice. I've been too busy going crazy with other things to do anything this year...

Feel free. If the stuff you want is available for purchase on DeviantArt or Rabbit Valley, you might want to get it that way. Someday I need to just get a decent printer and do stuff myself.

[dagoski.livejournal.com]

Oh, definitely, I believe in making sure artists get paid. I'll also keep my eyes open for surplused printers at UPenn. I'm only a couple of interdepartmental email lists where sys admins seek to dispose of their slightly less than new equipment when the grants for new stuff comes in. I need to see if any scanners are coming up for Paka as well.

[postrodent.livejournal.com]

It took me a moment to realize that the sun is fondling her. That's exactly the way I feel when it's *finally* 90 degrees and I can lounge comfortably in next to no clothes and at no point will any of my bodily extremities become cold.

[dagoski.livejournal.com]

It's too classy to be fondling. I think caressing is a better description.

[paka.livejournal.com]

"Dude! Did you see? Aten was totally hitting on that chick."

[dv-girl.livejournal.com]

Yahweh: That's nothing. I slept with some chic two thousand years ago and they're STILL gossiping about it.

[beetiger.livejournal.com]

Happy Solstice! I love that piece -- though I have to wonder if that fondling a little precocious for a new-born sun to be doing...:)

[circuit-four.livejournal.com]

Hey, it's been at it for 4.5 billion years! It's just that warming some parts of the world is a professional commitment for the Sun, and others seem to be more of a hobby. :p

[jenkatb4u.livejournal.com]

o/` And let the Sun wrap its arms all around me~ o/`

[turbinerocks.livejournal.com]

Looking good. ^_^ heat puts me in a foul unproductive mood, though Anything about 75 degrees and my productivity goes out the window.

LET IT RAIN A DAY A WEEK A YEAR
LET IT RAIN A THOUSAND YEARS A DAY

[kinkyturtle.livejournal.com]

Sun, sun, sun, here it comes!

Ant Hymn

[http://users.livejournal.com/_wastrel/]

"Sunlight come fill our empty shells
Warm up our cold sleepy muscles
And unite our divided minds."