Oct. 25th, 2007 03:34 pm
egypturnash: (hiroshima (howarth))
Since somewhere in the middle of the wedding this weekend, I've been having trouble drawing: a certain level of visualization I'd been depending on has been lacking; everything has felt awkward. It's been easy to fall into just doodling random shapes instead of actually creating any figures, scenes, or moods.

image )

Honestly, this worries me. A large part of my identity is tied up in my art. If some weird shift in brain chemistry turns it off, what do I have left? I make pretty things; that's what I'm here for. My wings felt broken, my fires felt out.

It's possible that this is simply a result of all the socialization I did the past few days; I had a lot more contact with other people than normal, with nowhere to go hide most of the time. The last halfway-decent thing in my sketchbook was me doodling just before the wedding; after that everything's been fiddly and awkward.

image )

Getting the kind of flow I've come to take for granted is suddenly difficult. The upgrade in the capacity of my mind's eye that happened near the beginning of this year was revoked, somewhere in the middle of Sunday. I have to do it all with my conscious mind again and that's a struggle.

image )

Unsurprisingly this has me kind of worried. I'm pretty sure, on a rational front, that I'm just exhausted from the weekend. But what if it never comes back? What if something in my brain broke, got burnt out?

image )

It could just be the same cycles of advancing drawing skill and advancing critical eye: I'm aware of some of the things I slack on, and maybe this is just me really starting to see them, and knowing I need some practice. Maybe.

On the other hand, I also told myself this weekend that I'd be free of this Tarot project for a while. It started suddenly the other week; I did a pretty impressive amount of work on it despite wanting to get going on Absinthe again. I said that I'd put that on hold and go back to the comic now - but I've been struggling with the simplest little doodles of Absinthe and her various foils.

So I wrote that down, and let the part of my brain that Knows How To Draw answer. A dialogue ensued.

vision quest via sketchbook )
egypturnash: (SHODAN)
Somewhere deep in our nervous systems, there are Shapes.

We see them in strange moments, and we give them Names. We may call them gods or demons. They are not "I", that much is certain.

Sometimes they're just... there. Sometimes they speak.

When they do, they can be loud.

false dawn

Mar. 5th, 2007 10:43 pm
egypturnash: (hiroshima (howarth))
"A true initiation never ends".

I've only ever seen those words in books. Which, quite distinctly, end.

So much for that, then. Break the hall in the candle of her brain.
egypturnash: (cat's cradle)
Making a magic wand with Quicksilver. (Short version: Gyration 3D wireless mouse + Quicksilver's gesture-recognition plugin + time spent building triggers = spooky action at a distance.) I'd seen this earlier this month, and looked at it again when BoingBoing linked to it. And it got me thinking, pondering, even researching.

How small a package could you get this into? Could you stuff it, a transmitter, a battery, and a little pushbutton or two into a ring? Maybe a tiny LED for feedback. Wizards like rings that glow with power.

Press your fingers together to casually activate a switch on your ring. Move your hand. Stuff happens. Things go on and off. Music stops and starts. The lighting changes. Locks switch. Video starts. Disembodied voices acknowledge your gesture, perhaps even hold a conversation with you to clarify your orders. Whatever home automation you can dream up.

How fine a motion can you sense with this kind of stuff? Draw a sigil in the air, turn an imaginary knob, twist a gestured dial. The sigil launches a little program; that watches the motion and mimics the knob. And then it does something. What would you like it to do? How much are you willing to dig into arcane incantations?

(And a slightly earlier entry in the same blog points to an interesting way to structure gestures - sadly, windows-only at the moment.)
egypturnash: (Default)
After tanning myself some, I wandered back in and booted up Second Life.

I made another avatar, a fairly human one. Then I scried a giant veve across the sky over Sandy's place - which is where I'm set home to in SL. Because it's all about me, I took a closeup shot of this av, too.

The headdress is inspired by a Buddhist meditation bell (a "ghanta") that I saw when wandering through the Boston Museum of Fine Art with [ profile] eselgeist. The bell symbolizes wisdom, and the prongs represent lightning. The wings are just abstracted wings from something I doodled out five minutes before constructing 'em.

And, as always, "all dressed up and nowhere to go" is the rule of the day on SL. I'm really only fooling around there because it's semi-creative and I'm away from my system, with my installs of Illustrator and Savitar.


Jun. 11th, 2005 06:35 am
egypturnash: (gorey)
So last night I finally sat down and read The Invisibles, thanks to the magic of the Internet. I've been meaning to read it because it's a turning point in the growth of more than a few people I know.

I sent a series of silly e-mails to [ profile] postvixen during this, since she's one of those people for whom the comic lifted the top of her head off and stirred her brain around a bit.

But, while it entertained and amused me, I felt like I've been here before for the whole thing. Morrison admits in the endnotes for volume 3, issue 1 (the final issue; volume 3 counted down from 12) that the series kinda turned into a shamanic intiation for the thinking reader halfway through. And that's a lot of the punch of it, that not only do the characters go through Enlightening Moments, but that it has the potential to induce some of that in the reader, as well. Um, that's borderline spoilers, I guess. Sorry.

I've already had that happen from a book or two. A strange combination of Wilson's Illuminatus stuff and Swanwyck's Stations of the Tide. Having the same set of Illumination Memes dumped into me by a comic book just kinda makes me smile a little, and laugh at his own comedic twists on them.

It was a fun ride, though, and I'll probably re-read it from Kin's physical copy while visiting her and Rik in Boston, so I can giggle and point out drawings that make me happy in a less awkward method than cut-and-pasting a segment into email.


egypturnash: (Default)
Margaret Trauth

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