stream of consciousness

[egypturnash]

I was always sympathetic to Lucifer.

Tried to make things work better because he was so bright, so full of fire.

He was just doing what Tricksters are supposed to do. Shake things up.

And for his pride and dreams and pain he got stuck with all the blame for everything wrong in the world
forced into a rut until the end of myth and time.

Unlike him I can have hope for change.

But change is like taking all the spikes and claws I have and turning them on myself sometimes.

I can put on these masks and maybe one will be me, or maybe one will become me.

Dreams recede as fast as I run for them.

Hopes flare and fade.

And maybe eventually I'll find out I'm as beautiful as my friends tell me, as full of fire, and catch a few of my dreams for a change.

And I'll be happy until I turn into another kind of monster. Because it's what I do, because life is change, and maybe I won't become my own hell for as long next time.

( first draft of script thoughts for a brief personal animation project. vague ideas of the look in my head but not on paper. not quite sure what the point I'm trying to make here is, I think I'm going in several mopey directions at once... needs to be more succinct, needs to be more oblique. )

Comments

[defenbaugh.livejournal.com]

Of course if you did happy sunny dancey flowers singing in yellow beams of sunlight Id have to come out and finish you off.. for you own good!

[paka.livejournal.com]

Oh man. This is veering dangerously into personal spiritual-y territory. I figure Tricksters are divine punks; they'll shake up the system if it's too stationary and bring it crashing down if it's unjust. I tend to connect them in a weird way to justice gods mostly because of the story of the Fenris wolf - it's almost the only thing in Norse myth that Loki causes but doesn't resolve, but it's Tyr who resolves it... Anyway, I can blabber on a lot about this stuff.