I laughed all the way through this. Read it. The script is the most gleefully horrible thing I have ever seen. But what do you expect? It's not as if Doom is an awe-inspiring work of story.
Remember - when you are hopped up on psychotic-episode-inducing drugs and stranded on a planetoid filled with zombies and hostile xeontypes, the only thing you can really rely upon are randomly scattered weapons and snappy one-liners about death and violence.
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