I went to sleep around midnight, I think. I eagerly anticipated sleeping as long as I wanted to, anticipated waking up sometime in the morning by semi-reflex, then being happy it's a weekend and going back to sleep.
Instead, I woke up around four in the morning and can't get back to sleep. Fuck.
Maybe I'll work on this self-portrait some. Or I could take a shower and dye my hair - the purple is fading to an off-pink.
I feel like there's something I want to say, something I want to do, that's too important to articulate. I feel weird and constrained from no weekend last week; twelve days straight having to put on my public persona and go out on the bus with no time to sit around and be myself is wearying.
I'm lonely, for one thing. All my friends are virtual nowadays. It's wearing me thin.
*sigh* I'll try going to sleep again now. Bleh. I hate this. Too tired to do anything with this dead-time consciousness.
Instead, I woke up around four in the morning and can't get back to sleep. Fuck.
Maybe I'll work on this self-portrait some. Or I could take a shower and dye my hair - the purple is fading to an off-pink.
I feel like there's something I want to say, something I want to do, that's too important to articulate. I feel weird and constrained from no weekend last week; twelve days straight having to put on my public persona and go out on the bus with no time to sit around and be myself is wearying.
I'm lonely, for one thing. All my friends are virtual nowadays. It's wearing me thin.
*sigh* I'll try going to sleep again now. Bleh. I hate this. Too tired to do anything with this dead-time consciousness.
no subject
Date: 2003-05-17 05:48 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2003-05-18 01:43 am (UTC)