over

I came home from hanging out with doctorpinkerton and Jeanine to find a note from my mom on the sofa. Mina died a little after 9:30 PM this evening, and my mom went out to Gretna to deal with logistics - according to a phone conversation I just had, she's sitting there waiting for the funeral home to come pick up the corpse sometime in the next couple hours.

I am relieved, I suppose, that she's not doggedly hanging on until the day I get on the plane, leaving me to decide if I want to turn right back around for the funeral.

I mostly just want to be done with this, at this point, and get back to my Tarot deck. Maybe this is me wanting to throw myself into art to avoid dealing with lingering emotions; maybe it's just me being a cold, reptilian beast who's got a big project with a deadline that she'd rather not try to move around. Or maybe I'm just being unsentimental about the meat she used to live in, and dreading a whole day of being at a funeral with people telling me how wonderful she is and how sorry they are for me that she's gone, when I just spent most of a week looking back on her life from my perspective and realizing how deeply fucked things were between us.

Anyway. Bedtime for me.