Apr. 30th, 2010


Apr. 30th, 2010 04:46 am
egypturnash: (vanishing)
Dream. Was about to tell a cute trusting little girl named Alice that she was a robot. This was complicated by the fact that she was a KILLER robot. Had given the task to her father figure but he was horribly botching it; was about to gently take over when I woke up to a cold room. Turned in heater, typed this on floam, going back to sleep. Hope she takes it well.

Edit, 11 in the morning. I took a while to go back to sleep because I slipped into this uneasy state where I convinced myself that I was the robot in question, kept in a virtual reality to develop. Kinda like A Mind Forever Voyaging except without the trip into a dubious future simulation. Stuck in this state where I was dead tired but kind of afraid to go to sleep for a while, as this 'is reality really real?' kind of theme bounced around my head. I'm beginning to wonder if this is just a place my brain goes when I'm stuck just barely on the waking side of sleep; the previous times I got there due to chemicals, but this time I found myself there stone cold sober.

I am starting to wonder if my brain is starting to slip the same gear PKD slipped. It ain't fun to be in that place, deep in the middle of the night, whether you're all alone or have someone trying to comfort you. Doubting the nature of your entire reality and having no clue as to what the hell will happen if you do take the choice to try and wake up is scary.

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